Relationship: Why Men Don’t Leave the FamilyOn May 8, 2021 by Helen Rogers
Often men don’t leave because of their children, even if they truly love another woman. They stay in the family for their sake, especially if they have a good relationship with their wife.
Many people are satisfied with a situation where he is at home surrounded by care and attention from an unsuspecting wife or who put up with his cheating for the sake of children, and his mistress gives him emotions that he does not get from his spouse. Why should he change anything, take a risk, turn his mistress into a wife who is sure to start demanding, because living together and having fun together are often different things.
Running a household, being responsible for children and family, doesn’t make life easier, it makes it harder. You can not just have fun, meet a man in his underwear when the kids are home, not to ask about work, not to ask for money, because you have to buy food, clothing, pay utility bills, pay for a club. And if the child is small, – what romance, when you can not get a good night’s sleep. And men are well aware that while the woman is in the status of his mistress, she is not concerned about the issues that lie on the shoulders of a wife and mother of his children. As soon as she becomes his wife, she will ask the same questions and make the same demands of him, because there is no other way. Such is life.
Often men don’t leave because of their children, even if they truly love another woman. They stay in the family for their sake, especially if they have a good relationship with their wife. When there are children in the family, hurting the one you wanted, waited for and took responsibility for is terrible, especially at a time when they are still young and need care and a sense of security to live a full life and not suffer from internal problems later. It is true that honest people say goodbye to their mistress, but most people continue their relationship with her. Because there is no strength – to break up, who wants to let go of someone who gives joy, and the woman herself, who finds herself in the role of the mistress, dreams that when the children grow up, he will be there. And she continues to remain in the secondary role. Her love brushes aside any doubts that arise in her mind that it is wrong for herself, her life, which she spends in perpetual anticipation of someone who does not leave the family for a good reason, but does not let her go either. Unfortunately without thinking that she too wants a family and children, and as the years go by her chance of having children is rapidly diminishing. But it seems to her that they have such love, which means why not sacrifice her opportunities and desire to have a family for the sake of this “bright” feeling for a married man.
Men who have matured and know how to take responsibility will leave for someone they have loved with all their heart and with children, when they have been strangers with their wife for a long time, constantly fighting, quarreling. They realize that the children sense that something bad is going on between mom and dad, they see that they hate each other. It does a lot more damage to them than dad leaving. Because it makes them feel fear, helplessness, horror all the time. In such a situation, for the sake of the children, the right thing to do is either try to stop hating each other or separate, since life isn’t going well.
When a man really understands that this is love, and without this woman he feels miserable, he will find the strength to leave, to get over the guilt that comes from having to hurt the wife with whom he has lived for so many years.
He understands that it is very hard, unpleasant, ugly to hurt the one who has not done anything bad to him, but at the same time he realizes that if he does not do so he will hurt the one he loves, she will suffer and so will he, because he will go against his feelings and desires. And it is unlikely to make him happy and will pass painlessly.
Many do not leave, continuing, to hurt their loved ones and their mistress, who promises the “golden” mountains, because they are afraid. They do not want to take a risk, to change, as it seems to them in the depths of their souls “a piece of shit on a soap. They believe that it won’t be better with another woman. Let everything stay as it is, rather than some drastic change, alimony, divorce, new worries and responsibilities. All the more reason for them to stress when women themselves are willing to put up with it all and pretend that nothing is going on.
His wife may not realize that he is cheating on her, but his mistress knows for sure that he has a family, another woman with whom he is sleeping, but does not think that this somehow humiliates her, deprives her of a chance for a normal relationship, etc. And since she’s fine with that, why would he leave and take on any problems.