How to Identify and Survive a Crisis in a RelationshipOn February 22, 2021 by Helen Rogers
When to fix and when to leave
Relationship have crises, it’s normal. And in the midst of a crisis, it can feel like the relationship is over. However, the crisis is quite realistic to get through and stay together. As opposed to the end. The main thing – to distinguish one from the other. We tell you how to do it.
Crises happen in relationships, it’s normal. And in the midst of a crisis, it can feel like the relationship is over.
You avoid sexual intimacy
A relationship that has had its first serious crisis lasts for at least a year. It’s only natural that passion will subside slightly during this period, especially in contrast to the first few weeks with their hormonal frenzy. Plus, denying intimacy is an effective means of manipulation. If you use it, or suspect your partner is using it, it’s a crisis. And also men and women are characterized by ups and downs in any activity, including sexual. Lack of or absence of sex can be due to the fact that the partner is in a recession. If there are problems at work or very ill relatives, then there may also be no time for sex. Another reason for the lack of sex may be that the partner is embarrassed to share his sexual fantasies.
Listen to yourself and observe your partner: if one of you, or both of you, avoids any bodily intimacy at all: hugs, kisses, affectionate touches, then it’s time to look for a good photo for the tinderbox. If you feel disgust when your partner touches you – this is not a crisis, this is the end. You can not endure this feeling, it will only intensify, and the agony of the relationship will last a little longer at the cost of your comfort or even your health. Trust your body in this situation.
Any actions and words of the partner cause irritation
Today we hardly have the opportunity to be alone with ourselves. And this has a negative impact on our well-being. The day begins with a jostle in public transport or in a traffic jam on the road, then work or school, or even all together, and everywhere else we are surrounded by people. We have a break from the people around us in social networks – and there are people there too! And then the day’s work surrounded by people is over and you want to be alone for a while. You come home, where your partner shows interest, with the best of intentions. And the resource, meanwhile, is already depleted, the skin is thinning, and the presence of a partner is annoying in itself. And, as we all, well, almost all of us are civilized people, the accumulated irritation is taken out not in the street or at work, but at home, and the partner gets under the hot hand. In this situation you just need to give each other time alone. And things will get better.
The end of
We all know that people do not change, but each of us can disprove it from personal experience. Most often, negative: it seems that not so long ago you had a wonderful understanding partner, and suddenly, one day, you see instead of him some monster. Lazy, rude, annoying, stupid and callous. What happened? Nothing, it’s just that the demo is over. At the beginning of a relationship, everyone strives to seem better than they really are, and they often succeed. Also, being in love makes us either ignore our partner’s flaws or make excuses for them. And now that time is over, the veil is gone, the masks dropped. And you do not like what was underneath.
You fight about everything
You fight like a rulebook: yell, blame each other for everything you can remember (or can think of), slamming doors, and maybe even throw dishes. Or maybe that’s normal for you. It’s likely that you’re both choleric. Or both grew up in families where it was common to fight violently and just as violently make up. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just a way of expressing emotions. And in a crisis, any little thing provokes these very emotions: scattered socks or hair clogging the drain.
The End of
Any quarrel begins with recriminations and transition to personalities in a matter of seconds: “You never…”, “You always…”, “You again?!”. And it’s important to understand what exactly you reproach each other. If we are talking about the so-called “fitting in” to each other – this is a normal stage of the relationship, the pain of having a new life. But if the partner rebukes you for being you, with your inherent personality traits or appearance – it’s a shitty business. You’re already doomed to break up, and it’s best not to drag it out. Before at the same time with the relationship in the ruins and your self-esteem.
Any quarrel begins with accusations and personalities in a matter of seconds: “You never…”, “You always…”, “You again?
You can’t agree on the most important
A crisis in a relationship doesn’t happen without a reason. They can be different, and one possibility is your personal crises. And a personal crisis is painful. A person doesn’t know where to go from here, and it would be strange to expect them to have sensible thoughts about your shared future. If it is happening to your partner – give him to come to his senses. If it’s happening to you – explain that you’re not ready to decide anything right now. And don’t decide.
The only thing that keeps loving people together during a variety of crises is common goals. Not feelings, not habit or sexual attraction, but the feeling that there is a certain “we.” And “you” are sailing to where both of you are going. If that’s not the case, what’s the point of rowing on, if each of you is rowing in different directions? Why be together if your plans for the future and your pictures of a happy life don’t match? The best thing you can do in this case is to thank fate for the fact that it has become clear now, and not later.
Universal recommendations for overcoming crises
Be in touch with each other – emotionally, talking, touching. Of course, keep in mind what we said about personal space – even when you consider yourself and your partner as one, no one has cancelled it. So how close this or that contact will be, it is decided individually. It is only important to allow your partner to get acquainted with your universe, and just as interested in what is happening in his.
Sincere interest in what your partner is living. Remember what it was like at the beginning of a relationship? How exciting it was to find out what kind of boy was a loved one, where he grew up and what he was interested in, and discover the amazing coincidence – right up to the same household names.
Timely discussion of controversial moments and conflict situations – with mutual respect. To keep silent, to be offended, to accuse, to reproach and accuse, to shift responsibility, to flirt and persist in wrongdoing – this and many other things only promotes distance from each other, in contrast to the search for compromise. In the silence of any trifle can grow out of a real painful crisis of family relationships.
The end of a relationship is not the end of the world. Yes, it will be painful and empty for a while, but it will pass. And when it passes, you may well decide not to start a relationship just yet – it’s okay. Or maybe you’ll just realize more clearly what kind of relationship and what kind of person you’re looking for. Then good luck! And we also recommend you take advantage of invme.com – thousands of people have already found their soul mate and built a strong relationship. All you need to do is fill out your profile, look up profiles of people in your city and write to the one you like.