Household Trivialities That Ruin the Life of a RelationshipOn March 24, 2021 by Helen Rogers
How to identify problems and get rid of them for good
With the light hand of Mayakovsky in our folklore entered the famous “love boat crashed on everyday life.” This formula is used as one of the reasons for divorce. Let me disagree with the classic. What if everyday life together strengthens the relationship? Going to the store together, cooking dinner together, and other nice little things have a place in a happy relationship.
Let’s say you decided to live together and got ready for the fairy tale! They say that the first year is a trouble-free time at all, when you will be bathed in romance, gifts and kisses. In reality, from the first day you may encounter a dozen everyday little things that can not only ruin your mood, but also seriously undermine your relationship. Unopened tube of toothpaste, scattered socks and even snoring will seem like a small thing compared to the things that we have collected for you in this article. Take note and try not to do that.
From the first day you may be confronted with a dozen of everyday little things that can not only ruin your mood, but also seriously undermine the relationship
A dirty bathroom mirror
A real pain for lovers of cleanliness. It seems that the creative patterns drawn with water and toothpaste on the glass is a secret hobby of your significant other. An attempt to raise the subject is likely to turn into conflict: after all, people can not really control their movements, especially in the morning. It’s not a simple and controversial problem.
Crumbs in bed
Well, who among us doesn’t like to relax in bed with food? An apple before bedtime, chips or potato chips while watching a movie, ice cream when you’re especially sad? And if we can somehow survive and even sleep through a mess of our own making on the sheets, when our partner does it, all we have to do is clench our teeth or roll our eyes.
This awkward moment will come sooner or later in life together. Just as men are annoyed by the sound of filed nails or the smell of nail polish and acetone in an unventilated apartment, women find it hard to endure the snapping sound of a man’s nails clipping. There are many surprises in life together. Perhaps a clipped fingernail glistening on the floor will be one of them.
The whole beauty of living alone is in complete control of his personal space: at any moment came with overnight girlfriend, the evening gathering with the show and a glass of wine, piling things on the chair, which may not unpack for another month. If you live together you will have to negotiate, make concessions and put up with the same bold habits of your lover.
Whoever is moving in with whom, your stuff will now live next door. And you’ll never understand, for example, why a cup with a chipped handle can not be thrown out. And why on earth would you want to get rid of your favorite, albeit old, stuffed toys?
Once you waited with bated breath for a message from your loved one, when he will be online. And now you do not understand why he always sits with the phone. Unfortunately, this is one of the most common and annoying things about each other: hanging out on social networks when you’re together. This is where jealousy, inattention and unspoken resentment collide. It seems to be a small thing, but it generates a lot of conflict in the couple.
Lack of gifts
Often the beginning of life together means the end of courtship. The flow of flowers, gifts, signs of attention stops, the desire to surprise disappears. Nevertheless, only romantic gestures allow you to save the reverent relationship and keep the fire in each other, it is the ease of the relationship gives them the opportunity to develop. And if they are not, then that’s when it begins what people call “everyday life,” from which everyone wants to escape. Discuss this issue, if you care. Agree with your partner to arrange a few romantic dates a week and periodically please each other with pleasant surprises without a reason, as it was at the beginning of your relationship. And in this article, read the top best date gifts for your loved one.
Going on a date, we put on our best, prepare the body for a meticulous inspection and complete the perfect image with a new perfume with pheromones. But when you’re living together, this level of armament is pretty hard to maintain all the time. Of course, we’ve heard about curlers and greasy robes since we were kids and we know it’s wrong. It really is extreme! Nevertheless, the degree of attention to one’s own appearance can drop significantly in both women and men once they move in together. Among the main complaints about women’s promiscuity are weight gain and refusal of sexy things. Well, women sometimes have to suffer from seeing ripped socks, wearing stretchy sweatpants and the same weight gain.
Issues of useless wasting are bound to come up sooner or later in a couple. He may be pissed that he always pays for restaurants and vacations, and you may be pissed that you always stop by on your way home for groceries. You’ll be mad that he spent his entire salary on a cool camera or a new laptop, and he will be discouraged when he finds out how much your new shoes cost. Understand, accept and balance each other’s spending will only help time, and the ability to compromise.
Things taken without asking.
Although you live in the same space, there are things shared and personal. It turns out that quite often men are extremely sensitive about their underwear and tools. And they can get very angry after your general cleaning, when something will be moved in the wrong place. Even take the phone off the charger, when it seemed to you that you need the wire more, can lead to a conflict. Be sure to discuss personal boundaries. You’re likely to learn a lot about each other.
Even though you live in the same space, there are things shared and personal
Sometimes, a hobby turns from a hobby into a real mania, taking all your free energy. If this happens to one of the participants in a couple, the other inevitably begins to experience discomfort in the form of irritation, resentment and misunderstanding. Of course, few people would want, for example, hours contemplating his back to his man, who can not break away from the tanchiki. Or the whole day to listen to replicas from TV series adored by girls.
If you are in this situation, it is important to understand the following: a hobby can not “turn off”, because it never arises by itself, without need. Remove the hobby – will remain a need for emotion, which the person receives through his hobby. This is why you cannot simply give it up. But you can replace it with another. This means that you need to find a common hobby. It’s not as difficult as it seems, the main thing – to understand what a person is looking for in his hobby, and to think where else you can find the same thing.
How to avoid household problems?
At first we like it all: we like cooking something special, we like putting things in order, we like picking out curtains and growing geraniums. If it’s the first time both partners are setting up a home together, it’s doubly enjoyable, because everything new is always interesting. In addition, due to established stereotypes about the relationship, duties themselves are divided into “women’s” and “men’s”, because the first thing most couples begin to arrange housing: repairs, even cosmetic, assembling furniture, the very “nailing shelves” – all this requires physical strength, which the woman has no, but has a partner. The rest of the household problems fall on her.
Statistics tell us that couples who do not divide household duties into “male” and “female” divorce three times less often. If you agree from the beginning that the household is a common thing, and the contribution to it should be equal, everything will be much easier. There will be no reason to resent the fact that the man does not help, because he is not supposed to “help.” He should do his duties, because the household is your common concern equally.
Agree in advance on the division of responsibility for certain chores. You can even make a list. Here everything is obvious: everyone chooses the activity that he likes the most, and takes it on himself. But what about the activities that nobody likes at all? Hardly anyone adores taking out the garbage or picking up socks in pairs, really. But here another principle comes into play: everyone chooses the activity that makes them dislike it less. If you hate ironing, pass that honorable duty on to your partner. And vice versa: if your partner can’t stand dusting, and it doesn’t annoy you that much, take it over yourself.
To divide household duties even more fairly, you can try to do everything together. Clean, cook, store, and walk the dog together. This is probably the best way not to let everyday life kill the romance. Because this time can’t be considered time spent on domesticity. It’s time you spend together. Well, washing dishes isn’t as boring if someone is around to clean the oven and tell funny jokes.
In every couple’s life, there are household little things that annoy them incredibly. And it’s a huge plus when, when talking about them, people find the strength to make jokes. After all, it means that, thanks to love, even the most hellish habits of the partner can not only be tolerated, but also accepted. Learn to live in commonwealth and a fair division of duties. You will surely succeed!
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